Happy Mother’s Day

On this special day, I am sharing a few take aways from journals I kept back in day. I wish I had been more disciplined and consistent with my journal entries.   One journal shows a gap of 2 years!   LOL!   I’m just thankful I kept on writing no matter how much time had passed. Kristin has been asking to read my journals since we started our blog.   She told me recently that my writings, especially those specific to motherhood, gave her hope and encouragement.  While brainstorming for this blog post, we came across 3 points.

I hope these little nuggets of experience will bring hope & encouragement to you, just like they did for my Kristin.

So, here we go…

1. Keep A Journal / Diary

You will miss days and that’s okay.

If your journal isn’t close by and you have a thought you want to remember, send yourself a text or put it in “NOTES” on your phone. 

Another idea a friend gave me years ago is jot them down on anything handy, date it and drop it in a jar.  Update your journal when you have time, but don’t wait too long!   

If your desire is to journal regularly, then pick a time of day that works best for you.   Mornings are best for me.  It’s quiet and my thoughts are clear.  I’m not a night owl!  

Carry your journal with you.

If you’re waiting at a doctor’s office, picking up the kiddos, grab your journal & write!  Don’t worry about grammar or complete sentences, just write!

While reviewing my journals recently with Kristin, I became nostalgic with many entries.  Reading about my mom brought back great memories and emotions.  She visited us every place we lived, so reading about those times brought me such great joy. 

Some entries were short and sweet with cute stories about Bill, Kristin & John! 

There were also entries that gave great detail on how a “fite” broke out and who got in trouble!   Quite often, my thoughts  started with “God, give me patience & wisdom, please!” and other entries were full of Praise!  

One in particular was when Kristin was healed of Aseptic Necrosis when she was just 6 years old.  Another, was when Bill & I were finally debt free!     

 Looking back, I’m glad I wrote freely without thinking about who would be reading these journals someday.  Little did I know, one day Kristin and I would be reading these journals together. 

2. Parenting is not for Sissies!  

How many plaques and cute signs do you see reminding you that “Parenting is the Toughest Job You’ll Ever Have?”

On September 27th, 1988, I wrote, “My mom was right!  Raising kids is the toughest job in the world!  There’s no prior training, no salary & you learn from the school of hard knocks!”

A few days later, on September 30, 1988, I wrote about walking around the track at Cairo American College (CAC), the school our kids attended in Maadi, Egypt.  A couple of “mom” friends and I would regularly walk to catch up and share life together. 

Needless to say, raising kids was a popular topic of conversation.  One of my dearest friends, Teresa, heard a lesson about raising kiddos on one her cassette tapes.  She shared a comment from that lesson, which I wrote in my journal:   

“If children are always criticized,

 they may improve for a brief time,

 but then their performance will go down hill.

 On the other hand, if children are encouraged,

 their performance will go up and steadily build up.”

That was just what I needed to hear that day and many others, as well!   

Here’s another tidbit of truth from that lesson.

“If you dig a hole, they’ll crawl in it.

 If you build a pedestal, they’ll climb on it.”

It really does take a village and I realize how important these “mom” relationships were to me.   We read books, listened to tapes and shared about how to be a parent.   There may no longer be cassette tapes today, but I know so many young friends who work hard at being great moms.   Of course, prayer is a must!

Keep praying for wisdom and patience, keep talking to other moms, continue being mentored by older moms, and keep taking care of YOU!   Always put your oxygen mask on first.  

3. Lastly, “It’s going to be Okay! …. “But how do you know???”

In March 1989, our youngest child, John, who was 6 years old at the time, hurt himself and came to us.   Daddy (Bill) told him he would be okay.  John asked his dad how he knew he would be okay. Bill answered, “I just know.”   John said, “It seems like when kids get hurt, adults always know they’ll be okay. How do you always know that?” 

My pragmatic husband answered, “Adults have lived longer and just know these things!”

Unsatisfied with that answer, John continued, “I don’t get it.  How do adults know when they’re not inside our bodies?  Only kids can know how they’re feeling!” 

I believe that’s when the conversation ended…. at least, my journal entry was finished!  

Kristin told me she received hope and comfort reading my journals and realized Bill & I went through the same struggles that so many parents go through today.

Kristin shared they have some super tough days and some awesome days, as well!  Reading my journals helped her realize that even her mom experienced parenting challenges.  

I reminded her that I found myself on my knees often. At that moment, I looked at her and said “Praise God! You & your brothers turned out pretty awesome!”

One of my favorite verses about raising kids is on a very old poster we’ve had for years:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

So, my dear friends, keep the faith, remain strong in the Word, know that God loves you and that “everything is going to be okay.” 

HE tells us so in HIS book… 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.   “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   Jeremiah 29:11

What about when you lose your mom?

September 1, 1990, my journal entry still brings tears.   I experienced the unexpected phone call.

The long distance phone call came on Saturday, September 1 at 6:45am, Cairo time.   My sister, Patti, called to let me know our sweet mother was in a coma.  After my mom got home from work the evening before, she was experiencing shortness of breath.  (My mom had respiratory problems for years).   Mom called her brother who immediately called an ambulance. Her heart had stopped! 

The paramedics arrived & were able to revive her; however, she slipped into a coma at the hospital. 

I fell to my knees and prayed like I had never prayed before!   I just knew God was not going to let my mom die!   There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Patti was going to call back and say “Mom’s okay!”  

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.  Patti called back with the news I never wanted to hear.  Mom died!  I slumped to the floor & sobbed uncontrollably.   This can’t be happening.   Bill was working his 8/6 shift in Ras Shukeir (on the Red Sea) at the time, so I was home alone with 3 kiddos!   

Our son, Billy, heard me sobbing from his room and came to see what was happening.  He was 12 years old and totally took over.  

As soon as it was light out, he rode his bike to Dave Hutchinson’s home, the Amoco HR manager, to let him know his Grandma Lu had died.  Dave immediately started arrangements for Bill to fly in from Ras Shukeir.   Then Billy called dear friends who came over to be with me.

It’s been 29 years since my mom passed away. 

I know she’s in Heaven, but I’m selfish and still want her here with me.  Our last good bye was that summer when we celebrated my brother’s wedding in August.   I never dreamt that would be the last time I would see my precious mom.

I would have said more, called more and told her I loved her more often!   

If you’ve lost your mom, I know what you’re experiencing.  Maybe you’re having dreams of your mom like I did for years.  In some dreams I can remember asking God not to wake me up too soon because I wanted to spend more time with my mom. 

Her memories don’t cause as many tears of sadness as they did before, but instead lots of fun stories, laughter & joyful tears.   My heart broke when I lost my mom, but with time and God’s healing, it’s not painful any more.  It’s now joyful to remember the times we spent together and all she taught me about love, life, family & God.

With love and hope, I can honestly say to you…It’s going to be okay. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love,
connie